heartbreaks:

*lies in the sun for 5 mins*

wheres my tan

speedlimit15:

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

unlucid:

nocive:

meanwhile in Afghanistan

never gets old

unlucid:

nocive:

meanwhile in Afghanistan

never gets old

(Source: shin-kai)

zackisontumblr:

i’m just kidding
unless you’re okay with what i just said 

slaive:

when you know you typed ur password wrong but you hit enter still hoping it’s correct

(Source: vinebox)

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

standardgaydad:

u know u fucked up when u still haven’t slept yet and u hear birds chirping outside

vvant:

im just so glad the word “ugh” was invented

fake-mermaid:

why can’t mosquitos suck out my fat instead

mydeaddog:

can apple computers like… . ….u know.… .….  ., ., , ., …not be $1,000

(Source: hklj420)

"Come lay with me. I wanna talk about nothing with someone that means something."
— (via fuckingz)

(Source: trillvcvm)

troyesivan:

is it morally okay to pray that your crush’s relationship doesn’t work out